For the last ten years music has played a completely different role in my life than the previous 20 years. As a worship pastor, listening to music and learning music seemed to turn into a tool for me to reach my church, but it very rarely stayed on the inside of me for long. Once an album or a song began to take a deep place in my soul, it was time to move on to the next week and go somewhere else.
That has seemed to be one of the dangerous area’s for me that I was never able to manage well. I always wanted to serve my church well, so I developed the mindset of “what will help them” and avoided the part of helping my own soul stay excited. I knew the message needed support, the rhythm of the church calendar was asking for attention, and even the moments that American culture was asking for like Christmas, Easter and special holidays.
Now that I’ve entered into a season of leading worship less and have been working through this transition out of full time ministry, I have been able to settle down a bit and allow some music to truly minister to me.
I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve really “loved” a full album and listened to it over and over simply just because there wasn’t much time. There are a lot of great songs and great people making amazing projects, it’s just that I was never able to manage the idea of hanging in one place very long.
I am so grateful for this season though because I just recently got a hold of project that I fell in love with and I am so amazed at how this record grows deeper into my heart, grabs my thoughts and changes the way I live. The messages that are communicated well, and the production that delivers that message in an amazing way just finds new area’s in my heart that I didn’t know needed to be reached.
It’s wonderful to have a rekindled appreciation for artistry and almost a reviving to believe that music can have more of a reach outside of the walls of a gathered congregation. It can move in the smallest of moments, and in the narrowest of hearts. I am absolutely loving this opportunity to go deeper and not be rushed so quickly to move, but to stay at a pace where the Holy Spirit can really take time to clean up the clutter that has been collected over time.
I hope that one day, if the Lord returns me to full time ministry that I will perhaps learn the balance of keeping my soul still, yet serving the pace of my local church. God help me to walk in step with you all the while running the course of the sun setting and rising again.
If you are a worship pastor or leader and I know you, please know that I am praying for the stillness of your soul in this fast pace generation. Your church needs you to serve well, but I also know you serve them the best when you have a still and quiet soul.
Shawn Starbuck 